Yer My Puddin'
by TwilightQueenMZ
Summary: After leaving the Joker, Harley headed back to Forks, where she used to live when she was Bella. Unfortunately, Charlie threw her out, so did the Cullen's. Bored, Harley listened to the voices in her head and tried a spell she...borrowed. What could go wrong?
1. Arriving an' Leaving

**I don't own anything!**

**This idea wouldn't leave me alone... Still won't. So I'm writing it. This will also be more of a Deadpool type of Bella is Harley.**

**I've also never written a Harley fic or an insane character in general. So Harley(Bella) will probably be kind of OC.**

Voice one: (_**Don't forget the bat!)**_

Voice two: [_**It's about time you finally left Joker.]**_

Voice three: _**{Will come later.}**_

Harley's inner thoughts: _SHAD UP ALREADY!_

_**Warning! There will be cursing, blood, gore, and eventual femslash!**_

**HaHaHaHaHaHa**

Harley sighed as she stopped in from of a small house with a police car parked in the front. "I can't believe I'm back here."

_**(Well, it's better than being back with Waller!)**_

_**[For sure, she's a crazy bitch. If we stayed any longer with her, we'll. We'd have gone mad!]**_

_Quiet you. _Harley scowled. _I'm trying to focus. We don't want Charlie thinking I'm crazy, do we?_

_**{You know he's seen the news, and aren't we forgetting something?}**_

_**(It's on the tip of my tongue...)**_

_**[Last time we were here, Charlie kicked us out. He refused to talk to us until we left Joker for sure this time.]**_

_**(Oh yeah...how long do you think we'll last?)**_

Closing her eyes, Harley shut out the voices and knocked on the door.

A couple of seconds later, a man with graying hair, and a badge pinned to his chest opened the door.

"Can I help you, miss...Bella?" Charlie inhaled sharply. "What are you doing here?"

"Hey, dad." Bella shrugged awkwardly. "So..uh, I finally left him. And I thought I would come and see how you were doing."

"Don't do this, Bella. We both know you're just going to run back to him anyway. Your last visit was the last straw." Charlie sighed and rubbed his eyes. "I would love for you to stay here. Meet your step-siblings and get to know you again. But I'm not going to let you stay just to run off again as soon as the joker comes calling."

"Aww." Bella giggled, her Harley side coming out a little. "You do care."

Charlie looked into her eyes. "Tell me the truth, Bella. Are you finally leaving him for real? This is the last time I'm going to do this with you."

"I am Charlie." Bella nodded, then unzipped her sweater jacket to show off her daddy's little monster outfit and tattoos. "I even have proof this time."

Turning slowly, Bella showed her dad all the tattoos on her skin. Which while he had seen before, and noticed immediately what was missing.

"Bella...where are the property of Joker tattoos, or the I'm watching one with his eyes. Even the J is gone from your arm." Charlie asked as he took in the pale of skin. Almost unnoticeable to the human eye. "...you've never done this before."

Bella smiled sadly, yet felt as if a weight was lifted off of her. "I know, I said I was serious. Well, this is my proof. I went to Ivy and had them removed, only leaving my puddin' and Harley Quinn ones.

_**(And it hurt like a bitch!)**_

_**[Ivy was probably getting revenge for when we accidentally killed some of her plants.]**_

_**{Still hurt, give us chocolate to heal our pain, Charlie!}**_

" Why didn't you remove those?" Charlie questioned his voice slightly gruffer than before. "And why do they look different?"

Bella blushed a little and twirled her hair around her finger. "I... I asked Ivy to redo them, giving them a more professional look. So they no longer look the same as they did before."

Charlie raised a brow and looked at her waiting for her to tell the rest.

"I also like the word puddin' and re-inked it for whoever my future puddin' is." Bella shrugged. "It's no longer the Joker, but well...I don't know. He may no longer _own _me. But that doesn't mean I'm fully recovered yet. I probably never will be."

Smiling for the first time since he opened the door. Charlie awkwardly stepped forward and hugged Bella. "...That's okay, Bella."

_Thank God we got through that. _Bella sighed, relieved. _It was tough to keep my accent in check. This normal thing is hard...think he'll be alright if I let my Harley side bleed through a little?_

_**{Maybe?}**_

_**[No, Charlie's never liked us when we did that. Plus, he hates our jokes.]**_

_**(This will be a pain pretending to be normal.)**_

_Maybe just a little then, a teensy weensy bit._

"So what've ya been up to Charlie?" Bella beamed. "I know you said, step-siblings. So how long have I had em, an' when did ya remarry?"

Charlie winced a little, then looking resigned. Explained what had happened since her last visit.

"After you returned to Joker, I was a mess. Sue, who I was dating at the time. Got sick of it and..." He blushed. Coughing. "Point is, we got married last month and are now living together. Along with her kids Seth and Leah."

"Aw...that's so sweet. When do I get ta meet 'em?" Bella giggled, resisting the urge to jump up and down.

_**(They won't know who we are, right?")**_

_**[In this town? Doubt it...]**_

_I can always cut my hair; I doubt anyone will recognize me then._

_**{Our hairs so pretty though...}**_

Charlie stared at her for a moment longer before stepping aside. Giving Bella access into the house.

"Do you have anything to change into?" Charlie coughed, motioning to her torn clothes. "I can see if I have some of your old stuff lying around."

"It's fine. I have this," Bella said, pulling out a backpack from behind her. Something that wasn't there a moment ago.

_**(I just love how we can do that.)**_

_**{I can't remember the amount of stuff we've left in there anymore.}**_

Charlie didn't even blink. The sight of Bella doing impossible things having since become normal for him. "You know where the bathroom is."

Running past him, Bella slammed the bathroom shut and opened her bag. Inside were a variety of outfits, but for now, she chose a short orange tank top, shorty short purple shorts that barely covered her ass along with a black open sweater unzipped and covering the tattoos on her arm.

Next, she grabbed some scissors and carefully cut her hair, giving her a short hairstyle while barely showing some of her natural brown roots. (Kristen Stewart's short blonde hair from Charlie's Angels.)

Finally, Bella washed her face, scrubbing it to remove the makeup from her face, and leaving a pale-faced yet completely changed Bella looking back at her.

(_**I'm calling it. No one will recognize us.)**_

_**[This is the first time in years that we've looked more Bella than Harley.]**_

_**{Momma likes!}**_

Putting her bag away, Bella left the bathroom and down to the living room. _All that's left do now is find me a new puddin._

"Hey, Charlie, Sue, Leah, Seth." Bella giggled, nodding to each one as she said their name. "How ya doing?"

"Bella?" Seth grunted. "When did you get a tattoo?"

"...I think you mean tattoo's," Leah added, as they saw the word rotten tattooed below the heart on Bella's face.

Bella saw Charlie wince and held in a smirk. _It seems dear old dad forgot to mention my appearance...wonder how they'll react to the rest in my body._

"I got it...er." Bella frowned as she tried to remember. "I don't remember when though, it was years ago."

Sue raised her eyebrow. "When did you get an accent, Bella?"

"It's from my time down at University. "Never could get rid of it."

"Well, I think it sounds nice." Sue smiled shakily, holding an arm around her stomach protectively.

"Gee, thanks, Sue!" Bella replied brightly, her smile widening. "How've ya all been, anyway?"

"Good." Everyone nodded, not knowing what to say to start the conversation.

Getting sick of the silence, Seth blurted out. "Did you hear the Cullen's are back!"

Bella's smile became slightly unhinged. "Is that so..."

Charlie shot up from his chair. "Why don't you go and visit them, Bella. I'm sure they'll want to see you now that you back."

_**{Why do I get the feeling he's kicking us out?}**_

Bella opened her mouth to say something and stopped as she saw Charlie glance discreetly at Sue's belly. _That's because he is kicking us out._

_**[He doesn't trust us.]**_

_**(To be fair, we're not exactly trustworthy.)**_

_More like he doesn't trust us around his pregnant wife._

"I'll do that probably on my way out of town." Bella nodded, watching her dad's reaction to the words.

"Yo- you're leaving? Charlie asked, surprised.

Bella could see from the way his eyes crinkled how relieved he was at the idea. _He's moved on. He no longer wants me to visit._

_**{We should have expected this.}**_

_**[We're no longer apart of the family.]**_

_**(Look at how awkwardly there acting around us. It's time to go.)**_

"Yeesh, no need ta so sound so excited." Bella flickered, pretending not to notice her dad's flinch or the guilty look in his eyes. "But yeah, I'm gonna hop over, say hi, an' then hopefully travel the world."

"That's great." Charlie nodded, a fixed smile on his face. "Well, you know where they live."

_**{Humph, if that's the way he wants to act. Let's get outta here then.}**_

_**[Agreed.]**_

_**(To the Cullen's!)**_

"See you around, everyone." Bella waved and skipped out of the room. All the while, trying to figure out what she was going to do. _I can't go back to Gotham. I was serious when I told Charlie that I left Joker. However, I can't travel the world like I said I would either. One of the justice league, or more like Batman would pick me up immediately. I'm surprised no one's found me yet..._

_**(We've arrived!)**_

_**[That was quick.]**_

_Wait what?_

Glancing up, Bella found herself standing on the Cullen's front porch. She had somehow found herself walking here as she thought about what to do.

"Might as well," Bella mumbled, then knocked on the door. _Should I be Bella or Harley?_

_**[Well, who do you feel you are?]**_

_**{I choose the Harley option, it's more freeing that way!}**_

_**(We've been Bella for 19 years, and Harley for seven. Which do you prefer?)**_

It took her less than a second to decide _...Harley, it is then!_ Harley Quinn grinned, the queen of crime now waiting for her ex-boyfriends family to open the door.

_**(We could save the Bella part of you for when where doing things legally or bored. Like buying an apartment!)**_

_**[Yeah, like Batman and Bruce!]**_

_**{How he hasn't discovered that we know his identity is crazy.}**_

"Bella!" Alice squealed, pulling her through the now open door.

_I didn't even see 'em open it. _Harley thought, not really surprised. She had seen far too much to be amazed at that.

"I can't believe your really here!" She kept on squealing and not acting the slightest bit her actual age. "It's been so long since I've been able to see you. Still can't, but I saw Charlie's future and then saw you."

"Ya know, if you were human, I'd probably be telling ya to breathe," Harley smirked, her eyes lighting up with laughter. "As it is, I'm gonna say it anyway. Breathe, Alice."

Alice rolled her eyes. "Funny, Bella, now come on. I'm sure you want to see Edward. He's been moping around for years; it wasn't until a couple of months ago when he finally decided to let us all return here to forks."

Harley's laughter died away. Her smile turning fake, struggling to keep herself from strangling, her so-called best friend. _Is this how she acted back when I was a teen? Now that I think about it, it was. Thank God I'm not a vampire. It would suck not having the body I do now._

_**{Teen body vs. Bimbo Harley body, FIGHT!}**_

_**(Ugh, I prefer the term bombshell. How the hell did the bimbo label even stick to us.)**_

_**[Right? While we're not geniuses, we do have a PhD.]**_

-ella! Bella!" Alice called out, finally gaining Harley's attention.

"What Alice!" Harley snapped, annoyed. Getting surprised looks from the rest of the Cullen family, who Harley only now realized had been staring at her as she got lost in her thoughts. "Ah, I see. Hiya Carlisle, Esme, Emmet, Rosalie, Jasper, Edward."

_**(What, no insults?)**_

_**[What about Fuckward? It's a classic.]**_

_I'm over him, why bother insulting him when I can do something else?_

_**{Good point.}**_

"Bella." Edward gasped, before starting to admonish her. "You shouldn't curse. It's not proper."

"I didn't." Harley rolled her eyes.

Edward frowned. "Don't lie, love, I heard you."

Harley raised her brow. _From what I remember, he couldn't read my thoughts._..._any ideas about what's going on?_

_**{Who cares what the little bitch thinks I-}**_

"Love." Edward's frowned deeper. "Why aren't you listening."

_Wait a minute._

_**(No fucking way!)**_

_**[Hahahahha, this is fantastic!]**_

_**{Hello, Edward, or should I say Fuckward. I'm one of the voices inside Bella's head.}**_

Edward's eyes widened, and he stumbled back in shock.

"Edward?" The Cullen's all glanced at him, concerned.

"Don't worry." Harley beamed, her eyes alight with mischief. "The voices and him are having a _conversation."_

Esme glanced at her son and smiled nervously...for a vampire that is. "Bella, are you alright?"

"Never better." Harley smiled, which widened at the next part of her sentence. "An' the names Harley Quinn now, pleased to meetcha!"

"Harley Quinn?" Carlisle asked, confused.

Emmett and Rosalie, on the other hand, stared shocked at Bella. Or rather, who used to be Bella.

"YOUR HARLEY QUINN!" Emmet boomed loudly, coming out of his shock.

"What the hell are you doing out of Arkham?" Rosalie demanded, looking at Harley's body. "And how can you be Bella? You look nothing like her."

"You know who Harley Quinn is?" Carlisle questioned.

Harley twirled, her sweater going up a little showing of the tattoos on her legs. "It's always nice to meet a fan."

"Fan?" Rosalie sneered. "She's a deranged bitch who's supposed to be in an insane asylum along with her boyfriend, the Joker."

"He's a mass murderer who's killed thousands." Emmett continued. "It's known pretty much everywhere that the Joker and Bel- Harley are the king and queen of crime down in Gotham."

"You're a Criminal?" Edward gasped, finally coming out of his shock. "Love, what have you done? How could you be with a killer?"

"Seriously?" Harley rolled her eyes at the pathetic display of vampires. "I was with you, wasn't I. Datin' someone with a bigger body count than you isn't the worse thing I've done."

_(__**Remember that heist with Ivy. I've never seen a better river of blood.)**_

_**{Ooohhh, how about the time we had our hyena eat the men who disobeyed Joker's orders.}**_

_**[Ahh, good times.]**_

If it was possible, Edward already pale vampire face pales further. "You killed people?"

Harley raised her brow at Edward. "Ya got a hearing problem or somethin? The voices told ya what happened, Eddy boy."

"...You're not my Bella," Edward whispered, looking as if the life was sucked out of him. "She would have never looked or acted like this."

"Great." Harley sighed at his incompetence. "How long did it take ya to figure that out?"

"Why are you here... Harley?" Carlisle asked. The Cullen coven leader finally attempting to take control of the situation.

"I'm here because I'm bored." _An' was kicked out of the house._

"Bored?" Jasper asked incredulously. Speaking up for the first time since Harley entered the room.

"Yup." Snickered Harley. "An' I must say all yer reactions are quite amusing."

All the Cullen's around her frowned with Edward's being a tad deeper than the rest.

_**(I don't like their looks.)**_

_**[Neither do I.]**_

_**HaHaHaHaHaHa**_

"I can't believe they kicked me out!" Harley stomped her foot with a pout. "I mean c'mon, I'm adorable. How could anyone throw me out like that!"

_**{I'm shocked...truly I am}**_

_**[...No one would ever do that.]**_

"Oh, Shut up." Harley glared at the air. "What are we gonna do now?"

_**{How about using that book we...borrowed from Zatara?}**_

Harley blinked in surprise, then snickered. _Which one?_

_**[Oh, I know. Use the teleporting book. Based on what Zatara and Zatanna do. All we need to do is open the book and read the pages backward.]**_

Being bored and having nothing to do. Harley opened the book that had appeared from her behind her and following the voices instructions, read the teleportation spell.

"levart efas rof tseuqer dna eeht nopu llac I enalp rethona ot latrop." Harley chanted as the air around her darkened.

_**(It's actually working!)**_

_**{This is unexpected.}**_

_**[Ha, take this all magic users. Who said you had to have magic to do this!]**_

Finishing her chant, Harley closed the book and looked around her now normal yet still surroundings. "Did anything happen?"

_**[Seems no-**_

_***BOOOOOMMMM***_

**HaHaHaHaHaHa**

Sniffing around, the wolves searched for what caused the explosion.

"_See anything, Sam?" _Jake thought through the pack bond.

_"Nothing." _Frowned Sam, his frustration coming through the link.

Paul transformed back into a human, holding a half-burned page. "This is all I could find. Unfortunately, the ink is smudged too much to be readable."

"What do you think happened?" Embry questioned, looking down at the page.

"Don't know, don't care," Leah answered with a shrug. "All I know is that something exploded, and it's probably something for the cops."

"She's right." Jake nodded. "Besides, I don't smell any leaches or anything around here for that matter."

Taking one last look at the ten-foot crater in the found. Sam growled and ordered the wolves to follow, racing each other back to forks. Never knowing that Bella was here, or that she was the cause of the explosion.

**HaHaHaHaHaHa**

**(A/N) I sat down to write a Bella/Rebekah. This happened instead. *sigh* Oh well, I'll do it some other time. Anyway, what did you all think?**

**Any idea where Harley went? I don't, but here are the current ideas.**

**My top choice is that Harley is now in storybrooke, and possibly becomes paired with Regina. Maybe Emma, or possibly Elsa? Who knows...**

**The second choice is Harley in the supergirl world, earth -1, or whatever. Never actually watched the show, so not sure what I would do.**

**The third choice is vampire diaries, simply because I could pair Bella and Rebekah together. Even if Bella is now Harley Quinn.**

**The fourth choice is... Any ideas? I just have those three.**

**Review or PM me!**


	2. A New Job

**I don't own anything!**

**(A/N) Just saw Harley Quinn birds of prey...I love Harley in there. She's just amazing! Anyway, I now want to bring brucey and maybe add Canary. I won't, though, as this is a crossover with OUAT...**

**Would anyone be interested in a **_**Harley X Canary?**_ **I thought of it as soon as I saw their interaction in the film.**

**HaHaHaHaHaHa**

_**{Let's never mess with magic again!}**_

_**(Agreed, where the fuck are we anyway?)**_

_**[The woods?]**_

_I'm gonna have an aneurysm. Keep quiet, will ya! _Harley thought, annoyed, her head pounding.

Now while she wasn't a hundred percent positive on what happened, she knew it was something to do with that spell...and that it had gone wrong somehow. Something that surprised her since she hadn't thought it would work in the first place.

"Alrighty now, where should I go now..." Harley mused, tapping her finger against her chin.

_**{Maybe we should dress first.}**_

_**[Nah.]**_

_**(The explosion destroyed everything we were wearing.)**_

_**{Were lucky that's all it destroyed.}**_

Harley blinked and looked down, surprised at what the voices said in her head. Sure enough, she was naked with not a stitch of clothing on her.

_Huh, how about that._

Reaching behind her back, Harley pulled the bag from her space. Opening it, she grabbed a pink midriff tank top, dark grey skinny jeans, and a thin black hoodie with a broken white heart on the front.

Next, she slipped on white ankle boots, her silver necklaces, and her rings/chains on her hands.

Finally, she used a bit of concealer to cover the tattoos that couldn't be hidden with clothing. Then she used the rest of the makeup on her skin. Covering up her bleach-white skin and giving herself a more healthy tan-colored look. The make up itself being an old creation of Ivy's for when she wanted to go out without attracting attention.

"Pretty nice, don't ya think?" Harley cackled, spinning around, showing off her outfit. Ignoring the fact that she was in the middle of the woods, and no one could see her.

_**{Not bad.}**_

_**[I wish we didn't have to cover our tattoos. Other than that, though, it's okay.]**_

_**(We look good in anything!)**_

"Now, where to go from here?"

**HaHaHaHaHaHa**

_**[Maybe we should act more...Bella like too.]**_

_Nah, it will be fine. _Harley thought back confidently.

_**(By the looks of it, it's a small town. Maybe they haven't heard of us.)**_

_**{The clothes and makeup should keep anyone from recognizing us.}**_

Seeing no one, Harley decided to try the first place she could find that wasn't a house. Turning a corner, she found what looked to be a Diner. Smiling cheerfully, Harley headed over to the building.

_**{Who names a place Granny's?}**_

"Hiya." Harley waved as she pushed open the door. Then immediately moved to the counter and hopped onto a stool.

_**[That's why.]**_

"...Hello, dear." The older woman who could only be Granny. Greeted from the other side of the counter. "Who might you be?"

"The names..." Harley trailed off and hesitated for a moment. Then nodded her head coming to a decision. "Bella, nice to meet you."

_**(So sticking with Bella?)**_

_I need ta lay low for a while. I don't know where we are, nor do I know if the people here know me or not. Most don't know me when I'm outta Gotham...well except for Metropolis. So it's better ta take precautions. _Harley thought calmly. _Beside's, isn't this what we decided the Bella persona would be for?_

"Well, I'm Granny." Granny smiled kindly. "Now, was there anything I could get for you?"

"Um yeah. Could you tell me where I am?" Harley asked.

_**{Smooth.}**_

_**[That's not suspicious at all.]**_

_**(I'm going to sleep. Tell me when we're back to being Harley.)**_

Granny raised her brow but answered anyway. "You're in Storybooke."

"And where is that located exactly?"

"Maine."

"Thank you," Harley said to Granny before resting her head on the counter. _Great, just great. That spell through me all the way ta the other side of the united states._

_**{Look on the bright side!}**_

_**[What?]**_

_What?_

_**{I got nothing.}**_

Standing up, Harley was about to leave the Diner when she heard a sizzling noise coming from the grill. Breathing deeply, she looked to where the sound was...and started drooling.

_Is that..._

_**{It is.}**_

_**[Eggs, bacon, and American cheese! All placed in two buns to make a glorious sandwich!]**_

"Can I get one of those?" Harley asked quickly. Hopping back onto the stool, her eyes never leaving the sandwich on the grill.

"Of course," Granny replied. Happy to cook for someone who so obviously loved food.

Patiently, Harley watched Granny cook. Not paying attention to anyone but the sandwich being prepared In front of her.

_**[Look at that, she's even spreading butter on the bread!]**_

Finally, after many, many agonizing minutes of waiting. Harley's breakfast was done and placed on the counter in front of her.

"Isn't that just amazing?" Harley sighed dreamily. Before closing her eyes and taking a deep breath of the dish.

"That will be four dollars." Granny chuckled, looking immensely amused at Harley's reaction to the food.

Harley's hand blurred as she grabbed the sandwich and left the money on the counter. If there were one thing she would always pay for. It was her sandwiches, especially the breakfast ones.

"Enjoy." Granny smiled one last time before moving onto the next customer. One that just so happened to be sitting on the stool next to Harley. Having come in while Harley was drooling over her food being prepared.

"And what can I get you...Regina." Granny asked, her smile becoming more strained.

"Scotch, and make it quick." The now named Regina snapped. Rubbing her eyes and shaking slightly from what Harley could tell was exhaustion. From what though, she didn't know.

"Be right up," Granny replied, not even blinking at Regina's tone.

_**{Huh, she's pretty hot!}**_

Harley stopped mid-bite at the voice in her head and turned to get a better look at the woman next to her. _Huh, ya know what. She is hot._

_**[Sexy is more like it.]**_

Setting her food down. Harley cleaned her hands with a napkin and introduced herself. "Hiya, I'm...Bella."

Harley winced slightly inside while showing nothing but a smile on her face. _That was a close one. I almost said Harley, which wouldn't have been good._

Regina opened her mouth as she turned, and closed it once she saw Harley. Recognition flashing through her eyes. "...Who are you?"

"Uh, Bella Swan?" Harley answered the woman a little confused.

"Right, and what are you doing here?"

"Getting breakfast." Although confused, Harley decided to just be honest. Everything usually turned out better that way...unless she did something. Then it was a much better idea to lie...most of the time.

"Let me put this in a more _direct_ way." Regina smiled tightly. "Why are you in Storybrooke?"

"Oh." Harley nodded, trying not to focus on Regina's red lips. They were very _distracting_. "I uh, went hiking, uh, and somehow found myself...here?"

Regina raised her brow disbelievingly. "I see."

"Yup." Harley smiled more confidently. _That sounds pretty accurate, doesn't it?"_

_**{...Sure.}**_

_**[...Yea.]**_

_Great!_ Harley's smile turned brighter. Not noticing the soft look Regina was giving her.

"And how long do you plan on staying in our...quaint little town," Regina hesitated.

That brought Harley up short. _How long do I plan on staying here? I got no obligations, no significant other(Joker), and no home._

_**{We might as well stay here.}**_

_**[The gorgeous woman next to us is reason enough to stay.]**_

"Don't know." Harley shrugged nonchalantly. "Probably for a couple weeks."

"Perfect," Regina stated, smirking. A knowing glint in her eyes. "Now, how would you like a job."

**HaHaHaHaHaHa**

_**[I can't believe you said yes.]**_

_What? Why not? Seems like a good deal to me._ Harley remarked inside. _All I gotta do is tell Regina when her kid leaves the house and with who. Well, that and clean. How hard could it be?_

_**{I agree, getting to see Regina every day is also a bonus.}**_

As it turned out. Regina's offer from the Diner was basically a housekeeping job. Harley would clean the house and keep an eye on Regina's kid. While getting free board and food along with a paycheck.

_**[We haven't had an actual job since the one at Arkham.]**_

Harley placed her bags down on the bed and sat down to think for a moment. _...Ya know what. I think yer right._

_**{Wonder how long this will last.}**_

"So, your our new maid." A kid that could only be Henry stood in the doorway.

"Guess so." Harley shrugged eyeing the kid up and down. _He doesn't look like Regina._

_**{Adopted then.}**_

_**[He also doesn't look happy.]**_

"Who are you?" Henry demanded.

Harley frowned a little confused. "Uh, yer new maid? Didn't I tell ya that?"

"I know who almost everyone is in this town. Who are you? You can't be in my book. I've never read about you!" Henry murmured, looking confused.

Harley rolled her eyes and stood up, catching the attention of Henry. "listen, kid. I don't know what yer talking about. I just...moved ta Storybrooke today."

Henry's mouth dropped shocked. "That's...that's not possible. Emma should be the onl- I need to go."

Without even a goodbye, Henry raced out of the doorway. Confusing yet amusing Harley at his antics.

_Did anyone catch what he was talking about?_

_**{Nope.}**_

_**[Not a clue.]**_

_Oh well._ Harley sighed and flopped back onto her new bed. _It's probably not important anyway._

After a few minutes of nothing but staring at her ceiling, Harley grabbed a change of clothes and headed for the shower. Needing to desperately wash and clean herself up after getting blown up earlier in the day.

Stripping, Harley hopped in the shower and started to bathe...

Thirty minutes later, she grabbed a towel from the rack and walked over to the mirror, talking with the voices.

_**{Think Regina will be home yet?}**_

_**[Since when did you think of this as home?]**_

_Enough, we are staying here, so I- WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO ME!_ Harley screamed mentally.

_**[This is definitely new.]**_

_**{NEW! SOMEONE TATTOOED OUR BODY WITHOUT OUR PERMISSION!}**_

Previously, back when Harley was leaving Gotham. She had gone to Ivy and had most of the tattoos having to do with the Joker removed. Except now, instead of bare skin. There were new tattoos, ones that didn't just look a couple of days old. Some looked as if they had been on her body for a very long time.

The spot on her arm that previously had a **J** tattoo before it got removed now held a **Q**. The place where the eyes on her back use to be now said **Property Of Gina**. With a crown resting on the G. On her thigh tattooed in perfect cursive was the word **Queenie**. Finally, the small jester face on her other thigh was now replaced with a **Queen's crown**.

_**{You know what. I like them.}**_

_**[There not bad at all...]**_

_Yea yer rig- FOCUS!_ Harley huffed, consciously tracing the tattoos with her finger. _By the looks of it. We somehow lost our memories. How and who Gina is, I don't know._

_**{...does it matter?}**_

_What do you mean?_

_**{We don't know how, why, or when this all happened. Tattoos or who Gina even is. So why bother?}**_

Harley opened her mouth to argue, then stopped when she realized she couldn't think of anything to argue about. _Huh, yeah, yer right._

Feeling a lot more cheerful now. Harley pulled on shorts, a tank top, and skipped to her bed.

_Tomorrow let's get cleaning and head back to the Diner for some breakfast._

_**[Mmm...good idea.]**_

_**{Agreed.}**_

**HaHaHaHaHaHa**

_**The next morning**_

"Ya want me ta wear this?" Harley asked uncertainly. Being held up in front of her was a short-skirted, slightly revealing maid outfit. That, when worn, would show off not too much, but a decent amount of cleavage. However, while odd, it _was_ less revealing than a lot of the outfits Harley had worn in the past. The only thing bothering her was why her employer would want her to wear this sort of outfit.

"Is there a problem, _Bella_?" Regina raised a brow, her eyes dancing with amusement.

"Nope!" Harley nearly shouted, feeling strangely warm. _Why am I reacting this way...and why do I feel like this is all one big game ta her?_

Regina smirked slightly and handed the outfit to her. "You may start immediately. I expect this place to be spotless by the time I return."

_I swear I felt a jolt when she brushed my hand._ Harley groaned inside while smiling on the outside. She may have or be a little mentally unstable. But that didn't mean she was an idiot or lied to herself. Harley recognized what was happening.

_**{Harley and Regina kissing in a tree. K-i-S-s-I-n-G!}**_

_**[Ooohh, crushing on the boss.]**_

_Shut up! Yer all me anyway, when and how the hell did this happen?_

_**{...I don't know.}**_

_**[...neither do I.]**_

"-Harley!" Regina tapped her cheek with her hand.

"Hmm..." Harley blinked, then focused back on Regina. "I'm sorry, what?"

Regina froze for a moment before relaxing, a relived look entering her eyes. "Nothing _Bella, _I was simply worried about your work performance if your this easily distracted."

"Sorry." Harley apologized. "Won't happen again."

"...I'm sure," Regina replied dryly. "Now, as neither Henry or myself shall be here until dinner tonight. You may have the afternoon off when you finish with your duties."

Smiling widely, Harley gazed into nothingness as she nodded. Already picturing herself biting into a breakfast sandwich down at her now favorite Diner.

"I will leave you to it then," Regina said, smiling faintly.

After another few minutes of daydreaming, Harley returned to reality. Only now noticing the missing Regina. _Where'd she go?_

_**{She left a few minutes ago.}**_

_**[Hurry and clean, the Diner awaits!]**_

Mouth turning into a serious line, Harley grabbed her duster and sped through the house. Looking for anything to dust or clean in general...she found nothing.

"This house is spotless," Harley muttered in disbelief, lifting the sofa to check underneath it. Again, no dust, dirt, or marks.

_**{Why did she hire you?}**_

_**[It's now you? Not us?]**_

_**{I'm not getting paid.}**_

_**[...your right.]**_

_Maybe watching Henry is that important? Who knows, he may get into a lot of trouble._

_**{Regina didn't say watch though.}**_

_**[All she was is for us to tell her who comes to visit him or take him to school if he misses the bus...there he goes now.]**_

Head snapping up, Harley saw Henry race down the stairs and out the door at least an hour early before his bus was supposed to pick him up.

_**{Well, we're done. We might as well follow.}**_

_**[Oh, so NOW it's back to we.]**_

Thankfully Harley hadn't changed into her cleaning outfit. So she didn't need to change and left the house. Watching as Henry ran into a small yellow bug with a blonde-haired woman in to.

_He definitely knows her. _Harley frowned, something niggling in the back of her mind. Unfortunately, she couldn't pinpoint it.

_**{There's something odd going on here.}**_

_**[Agreed...breakfast now?]**_

Sighing, Harley started walking in the direction of the diner. _It's just bugging me, ya know. I'm positive theirs something strange about the way they look — it's on the tip of my tongue._

_**{Maybe it's the way Henry looked happier with the blonde woman?}**_

_**[Yeah, he does seem to hate Regina. Though based on the photo's in the mansion, that wasn't always the case.]**_

Entering the diner, Harley sat down on the same stool ad the previous day. Not noticing Henry and the blonde woman in the booth behind her.

"Same as yesterday?" Granny asked, a twinkle on her eyes.

"Yup." Harley grinned and laid her chin on the counter. Watching as Granny made all the preparations.

"What's got you so down?" Granny asked over the sound of the eggs sizzling.

Harley shrugged but answered honestly. "There's something about Henry and the blonde woman that's messing with me. I just can't figure out what."

Granny nodded in understanding, but before she could say anything. Henry's voice came from behind her. "It's because she's my mom."

Eyes widening, Harley snapped her fingers excitedly. "That's it — Thank's kiddo."

_**{Their bone structure and facial features are similar. Not too much but enough to be noticeable.}**_

_**[I can't believe we missed that!]**_

"Who's this, Henry." The blonde woman asked curiously. A sheriff badge clipped on her jeans.

"I don't know." Henry frowned a little frustrated. "But she works for my mom. She's the new housekeeper."

"You work for Regina?" Blondie demanded, her eyes narrowed.

"Eh, yes?" Harley admitted. Not sure what the big deal was.

"Emma, leave the poor girl alone. Can't you see how confused she is?" Granny sighed, placing Harley's plate down on the counter.

Filing Emma's name in her head, Harley focused her attention entirely on the dish in front of her. Entranced as she watched, the piping hot steam rise from the plate.

"What is going on here?" The sound of Regina's voice rang through the diner. Breaking Harley's attention from her dish.

Taking a glance around, Harley Henry glaring at Regina, along with Emma. _Huh, wonder what's going on._

"I was just eating breakfast with Henry, Regina," Emma replied, still glaring.

Regina stopped for a moment as if realizing that for the first time before continuing. "Of course you were and unlike what most in this town think. I am not oblivious to what goes on in my town. However, that is not what I was asking."

"What then?" Emma asked, more than a little confused.

Regina pointed at Emma with a sneer. "Remove your hand from Bella."

That brought Harley up short, along with everyone else in the diner. But looking down, sure enough, Emma's hand was on Harley's arm. No doubt from trying to get her attention earlier when Harley was focused on nothing but her food. Unfortunately, that's not how it looked from where Regina was standing. From her perspective, Emma's position and hand on Harley's arm looked a lot more intimate than it truly was.

"Er, okay?" Emma took away her hand and sat back down.

Taking a calming breath, Regina glared around the room. Making everyone but Harley look away and start talking again. Avoiding looking Regina in the eye.

"That's better," Regina smirked, then sat down on the stool next to Harley.

"What was that about?" Harley questioned, before taking a bite of her sandwich.

Regina paused a hesitant look entering her eyes. "You will know in the future."

Harley thought of pursuing the topic but ultimately decided not to. The sandwich in front of her being far more important at the moment.

**HaHaHaHaHaHa**

**(A/N) Didn't really know how to end the chapter. So it ended there. What do you thinks so far? I actually have a ton of the plot for this one worked out. I just now need to write it.**


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